i had a dream about you last night,
you forgave me with open arms,
and we kissed, and hugged, and talked,
are eyes were open, i thought it was real.

i really miss you,
how could my mind be so cruel.

i pretend to be over you, when really
i'm honestly not,
i was lying in bed this morning thinking,

i REALLY miss him,
alot.
but i have to save myself, get the fact, he doesn't
never will. love me.

Please read it.‏

From:	Tayler Bryan (taylerps.donteverchange@live.co.uk)
Sent:	14 April 2010 21:49:02
To:	some one who i love so much.

i wish i could just send the letter,

but i can't so i'm going to type the letter,

before you read it, i need you to know, 

im not begging or anything like that.

okay.

'' Herro Matt.

         im writing this letter not only to tell you how much i am in love with you, 

         i am writing this to apologize for everything.
              i am sorry for moaning, annoying, lieing, singing, looking, typing,
              loosing the game, talking too much about music, jealousy, my
              problems, all the times i hurt you, not being able to be there,
              denying, daring, living on cloud nine, wishing, hoping, praying,
              drawing, talking texting, planning, phoning, asking, and alot more,

 one thing im not sorry for, is ever loving you.

you are amazing in so many ways. i would do anything for you in my life, i really mean it.

you have made me feel so happy.

i don't know if i could bever be without you, cause matt you complete me. and in time

i know that we'll both see that we are ment to be.

im sorry i am so crazy about you. i just cnt give something up like you.

this letter probably wont make you love me again, but ill beep trying.

i love you mathew sumpter, always.

DONT EVER LET ANYONE THINK YOU ARE NOT AMAZING.l

cause you are truley an amazing person.

the way you look lead sound talk love move feel touch taste sing draw write
type kiss hug smile make me feel belive see hold dance loose fine tell lie keep 

play help need give do your hair argue forgive live entre rhyme agree

disagree put up with me link smell sleep eat drink dream pretend ask sit stand.

leave.

i think about you too much.

i am sorry.

i swear if there was anything i could do to make you love me again

i would do it.

i really mean anything.

you mean everything to me.

i dont want to write to tell you how sad i am without you.

so yeh.

i love you

always will.

ill still love you in 4 years time.

sorry, but i need you, and want you,

and dont want to live without you.

tayler xx''

so yeh thats it.

again sorry, for being a freak.

i love you.

i have just been told to leave you alone for at least a week,
how am i ment to do that.

one day, i hope you realise, what you have thrown away.

under my umberella?

some how i feel like im going to turn out like my mother,

We always ignore the ones who adore us, And adore the ones who ignore us.

because of you i've learned to reverse my tears and make them fall into my eyes. + because of you i've learned to bleed without pain and to control my anger + because of you i've learned to taste my own thoughts the sweet and sour and bitter flavors + because of you i've learned to tie a little red ribbon around my heart to stop it form breaking. + because of you i've learned to love with everything i've got = because i've you i've learned to break and fall

52# Note To Self:

next, time. if there is a next time,

don't fall for someone too Hard.

ok, i'll stop.

ive been sitting here for about 2 hours, reading our first chat loggs,
i really miss you.

i have to look at your pages,
cause it still says that you love me.

ok, matt.
i can't control your feelings, but just know that im sorry.
i never wanted to make you feel so..
im sorry, i love you. i can't help. your just so amazing,
everytime i think of you, you pushed me through,

and now here i am
with all my heart.

you brought me closer to who i am,
i want the world to see what you mean to me,

you saved me,
7th October, 09

what we had, what we still have,
i don't want to cry anymore.
i want you, to take my hand, and tell me you love me.

my tears are falling so fast.
i know you can't help not loving me,
but please just remember how many times we have just stared at each other and smiled.
how much we have gone through together,
please please please please don't throw it away.

i really need you, i love you. :'(

please.

'you will get over it'
i dont want to.

i have cried, non stop.

i don't want anyone, appart from you.

YOU WERE MY EVERYTHING!!

forever always. peace and love.
please just say you love me. i know you do.

i can't do it.
i love you.

thats hard ''/

im going to have to get over you.

you said, you said alot of things. ''/

you said i made you happy?

i would tell you everything you want to hear?

i need a shower, cause then i can go back

my mum doesn't like my dad does she.

TAYLER. shut the fuck up. he is never going to love you.

i guess you weren't meant to be loved. by anyone.

you are a faggit and no one likes you.

i want to talk to you. ''/

i just want you back,
i can't do it.
i can't go on without you.

matt, i can't do this without you.
you promised forever :'[

i miss you so much.

i am crying,, again.
STOP IT TAYLER.
YOUR KILLING YOURSELF.

i can't stop looking at your pictures. and our old comvosations.

i need this blogg.
*undeletes.

im going to delete me blogger.

the same old shit.
different day.

i am not writing for you to read this.
i am writing because it seems like this blogg is the only one who cares.

i just wish all these feelings would go away.
and everything would be fine.
its not that easy.
i wanted to make sure you were okay last night.
look after you.
but you pushed me away :|
now i don't know what to do.

1.stop blogging about you and let go.
2.drop everything.
3. act like i am fine, with everything.

this is so messed up.
all i need to know is
do you love me?
do you actually care.
or are you just pretending to keep me alive.

Dan Thank You ^^

i'm sorry. i can't keep pretending, im okay with not talking to you as much.
its killing me.
i really need to be there, or for you too be here.
i know i sound stupid. but this blogg, its whats keeping me alive.
keeping my sane.

is it that you dont want to talk to me.
or is it that you dont know what to say anymore?

please?

you are beautiful.
even without make-up on.

no worries.

i want to cry,
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to moan.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to throw up.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to cut.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to eat.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to be with you.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to tell you why.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.

this is my life.