Good Bye Blogger ;DDDD

i had a dream about you last night,
you forgave me with open arms,
and we kissed, and hugged, and talked,
are eyes were open, i thought it was real.

i really miss you,
how could my mind be so cruel.

i pretend to be over you, when really
i'm honestly not,
i was lying in bed this morning thinking,

i REALLY miss him,
alot.
but i have to save myself, get the fact, he doesn't
never will. love me.

Please read it.‏

From:	Tayler Bryan (taylerps.donteverchange@live.co.uk)
Sent:	14 April 2010 21:49:02
To:	some one who i love so much.

i wish i could just send the letter,

but i can't so i'm going to type the letter,

before you read it, i need you to know, 

im not begging or anything like that.

okay.

'' Herro Matt.

         im writing this letter not only to tell you how much i am in love with you, 

         i am writing this to apologize for everything.
              i am sorry for moaning, annoying, lieing, singing, looking, typing,
              loosing the game, talking too much about music, jealousy, my
              problems, all the times i hurt you, not being able to be there,
              denying, daring, living on cloud nine, wishing, hoping, praying,
              drawing, talking texting, planning, phoning, asking, and alot more,

 one thing im not sorry for, is ever loving you.

you are amazing in so many ways. i would do anything for you in my life, i really mean it.

you have made me feel so happy.

i don't know if i could bever be without you, cause matt you complete me. and in time

i know that we'll both see that we are ment to be.

im sorry i am so crazy about you. i just cnt give something up like you.

this letter probably wont make you love me again, but ill beep trying.

i love you mathew sumpter, always.

DONT EVER LET ANYONE THINK YOU ARE NOT AMAZING.l

cause you are truley an amazing person.

the way you look lead sound talk love move feel touch taste sing draw write
type kiss hug smile make me feel belive see hold dance loose fine tell lie keep 

play help need give do your hair argue forgive live entre rhyme agree

disagree put up with me link smell sleep eat drink dream pretend ask sit stand.

leave.

i think about you too much.

i am sorry.

i swear if there was anything i could do to make you love me again

i would do it.

i really mean anything.

you mean everything to me.

i dont want to write to tell you how sad i am without you.

so yeh.

i love you

always will.

ill still love you in 4 years time.

sorry, but i need you, and want you,

and dont want to live without you.

tayler xx''

so yeh thats it.

again sorry, for being a freak.

i love you.

i have just been told to leave you alone for at least a week,
how am i ment to do that.

one day, i hope you realise, what you have thrown away.

under my umberella?

some how i feel like im going to turn out like my mother,

We always ignore the ones who adore us, And adore the ones who ignore us.

because of you i've learned to reverse my tears and make them fall into my eyes. + because of you i've learned to bleed without pain and to control my anger + because of you i've learned to taste my own thoughts the sweet and sour and bitter flavors + because of you i've learned to tie a little red ribbon around my heart to stop it form breaking. + because of you i've learned to love with everything i've got = because i've you i've learned to break and fall

52# Note To Self:

next, time. if there is a next time,

don't fall for someone too Hard.

ok, i'll stop.

ive been sitting here for about 2 hours, reading our first chat loggs,
i really miss you.

i have to look at your pages,
cause it still says that you love me.

ok, matt.
i can't control your feelings, but just know that im sorry.
i never wanted to make you feel so..
im sorry, i love you. i can't help. your just so amazing,
everytime i think of you, you pushed me through,

and now here i am
with all my heart.

you brought me closer to who i am,
i want the world to see what you mean to me,

you saved me,
7th October, 09

what we had, what we still have,
i don't want to cry anymore.
i want you, to take my hand, and tell me you love me.

my tears are falling so fast.
i know you can't help not loving me,
but please just remember how many times we have just stared at each other and smiled.
how much we have gone through together,
please please please please don't throw it away.

i really need you, i love you. :'(

please.

'you will get over it'
i dont want to.

i have cried, non stop.

i don't want anyone, appart from you.

YOU WERE MY EVERYTHING!!

forever always. peace and love.
please just say you love me. i know you do.

i can't do it.
i love you.

thats hard ''/

im going to have to get over you.

you said, you said alot of things. ''/

you said i made you happy?

i would tell you everything you want to hear?

i need a shower, cause then i can go back

my mum doesn't like my dad does she.

TAYLER. shut the fuck up. he is never going to love you.

i guess you weren't meant to be loved. by anyone.

you are a faggit and no one likes you.

i want to talk to you. ''/

i just want you back,
i can't do it.
i can't go on without you.

matt, i can't do this without you.
you promised forever :'[

i miss you so much.

i am crying,, again.
STOP IT TAYLER.
YOUR KILLING YOURSELF.

i can't stop looking at your pictures. and our old comvosations.

i need this blogg.
*undeletes.

im going to delete me blogger.

the same old shit.
different day.

i am not writing for you to read this.
i am writing because it seems like this blogg is the only one who cares.

i just wish all these feelings would go away.
and everything would be fine.
its not that easy.
i wanted to make sure you were okay last night.
look after you.
but you pushed me away :|
now i don't know what to do.

1.stop blogging about you and let go.
2.drop everything.
3. act like i am fine, with everything.

this is so messed up.
all i need to know is
do you love me?
do you actually care.
or are you just pretending to keep me alive.

Dan Thank You ^^

i'm sorry. i can't keep pretending, im okay with not talking to you as much.
its killing me.
i really need to be there, or for you too be here.
i know i sound stupid. but this blogg, its whats keeping me alive.
keeping my sane.

is it that you dont want to talk to me.
or is it that you dont know what to say anymore?

please?

you are beautiful.
even without make-up on.

no worries.

i want to cry,
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to moan.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to throw up.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to cut.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to eat.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to be with you.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.
i want to tell you why.
but i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore.

this is my life.

sorry,
i love you.
i believe you.

is something bad when your heart feels like someones chewing on it?

my last goodbye.

why does this happen.

it's been over five months.

so, we fight.
does it matter.

i wonder if you ever actually cared.

sometimes its about you finding your voice, and ignoring everything else

Sooner or later in life, the things you love you loose.

All You Gotta Do. Is Think About thinking.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
Why did i just tell you that!
now i feel like an idiot.
Rejection.

if i talk to you, would i only just annoy you?

wow.
i dress like a girl.
and suddenly everyone likes me.

kiss n tell.

i'm scared that im annoying you if i do.

PEADO IN DISGUISE

i leik seeing you type.

speak your mind. and everyone will hate you :B

all because of a boy...

and how pretty his friends are.
when i hang out with him., and his friends.
i feel really odd.

i feel like such an idiot.
thats why im  changing who i am.

why.

no one, knows me.
Actually knows me, apart from myself.
those who think they know me,
really have no clue.

Maybe if..

You Actually listend. and cared. i wouldn't have to write bloggs

think about it like that...

-wants.

https://www.districtlines.com/checkout

http://images.asos.com/inv/V/75/745/772541/Multi/image1l.jpg

http://images.asos.com/inv/V/75/745/772541/Multi/image1l.jpg

http://images.asos.com/inv/U/75/745/692717/WhiteBlueYellow/image1l.jpg

http://www.supaprice.co.uk/p/result.jsp?q=3/4+raglan+shirt

i have lost interest in this.
Sadly.

My Mum Can't Cope Anymore.

*i hate being sad
*it feels like
*my whole bodys being sucked into a black whole

not like your gonna have a look

http://ihatetomoanbut.tumblr.com/

i'm moving,
to Tumbr.

i'm sorry for being me.


tbh i dont want to feel like this anymore.

i need someone to talk to.
i'm scared of my own reflection.
i'm scared of death.
i'm scared of loosing you.
i'm scared of rejection.
i'm scared of live.

now i'm scared to carry on with life.

i'm Scared that at night. you will forget me.
that the next day you wake up and your gonna think.
what was i thinking. your gonna realise the mistake that you made.
that you don't love me.

different/

MLIK.



ROCKS OUT*

*JUMPS ABOUT*
#

-thinks

Hey
Hey
Hey
NO NO NO DON'T SPAM >;l
STOP IT
*SMILES*

And I can't help but cry every night,
When I'm weak & you're not by my side

you try your hardest. and the hardest part is trying.

you try your hardest. and the hardest part is trying.

i dress like you and get called emo.

i could take the easy option and just give in.

am i really the weird?

no im not ok im crying.

mmm it hurts my heart.

its not fair.
i have to see you making plans with them
when i can't be with you.
even tho we both know how much i wanna be with you.

that surprisingly hurts.

you have never been this bad before.

i don't know what to do
or say to you..
i need you to be strong.

i got your card in the post.
i couldn't stop smiling.
i keep reading it.
and having the biggest smile.
that little piece of paper is hanging on my wall.

<3 Just wanted you to know.

since when did 'mhm'
mean yes for me.

you have changed too much :'[

im scrared.
of what you want me to do.
but im trying to do it.
just for you.
cause i DO love you <3

saay no.

that day you left me, i thought my life was over,
but iv'e realised it was the beginning,

i still can't believe i got over you.
but i did.
now i find it hard to believe i ever loved you.

:'[

i need to stop crying.

i can't keep doing this.

everyone hates me now anyway.

ima give up.

should i go for it?

a looser can win whenever they want to.

Our Father, who art in heaven
hallowed be thy Name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

✖ Valentines ✖ Day ✖

i refuse to go out. 
i mean, what makes this day special without you.
ergh, i need you.

i cant keep doing this.

you left me.

wondering why.

i see.

the old me some times.
it sickens me

i Love You.

How many times will the clock go around
How many times can my hands hit the ground
How many coffins before theres a crown
How far will I fall til the alarm sounds

How come you love me when I am ugly
Guess I can only hope

CHORUS
Give me a second go,
Dont let me go alone
You saw me at the worst,
You caught me falling first
All I wanted to know,
Give me a second go

No matter the weather theres never a break
Conquer a ladder then slip on a snake
Cried til my river turned into a lake
And Im wondering now before its too late

How come you save me when I am angry
Reasons Ill never know

CHORUS

One to five Im half alive, six to nine Im out of line
Ten to twelve Im not myself, by the millionth time
I cry.

i Cant Help.

But Feeling Lonely.

Help?

i need you.

dont let me take over your life.

me.

i miss you, even tho you have never been there.

 

  Marked as spi wish, you were here. Always here. 

 

Do You Care?

You Would Rather Talk To her, Than me?

We Both Know It.

This Girl Said to Me. 

Its Like we are Pretending.

i feel like im giving it my all. 

and your just throwing in the tinyest ammount.

you only get one shot.

so make it count.

i'm

incomplete.

My Heart.

Aches.

when the blood dries in my veins.

and my heart feels no more pain.
i know ill be on my way.
to heavens door.

and i know when i knock.
ill be hoping i dont drop,
to a place where i will rot.


Please dont drag me away from heavens door.

when my heart stops beating and my lungs stop breathin in air.

when my eyes stop blinking and my mind stops thinking.

i know im at the end.

i can see the tears in your eyes.

its hard looking at someone and seeing inside. the person they used to be.

i can see the tears in your eyes.

its hard looking at someone and seeing inside. the person they used to be.

we only have one life.

tomorrow is a new day.

a new day,
another day.
another day of being me. another day of wanting to be something else.




another new day. 
thats the same, 
as any other day.

Tayler: Has Just Became Forgotten.

-Moans,

WHAT WAS I THINKING :'[


It Hurts Seeing You Now.

Hmph.

No One Ever Really Cared Did They,

i nearly,

Gave Up.

i cant say.

Ergh.

truth.

i do love you.

I Need You,

You Clearly Don'tneed me, things have changed, and i can tell that you dont like me anymore. 

You,

You are gonna Stop Loving me one day ;[
when that day comes, i wont be here anymore.

most times..

i wonder why im still here.

she asked again.

why?
why dont you want to go to the party,
why dont you wear dresses,
why are you so moody, or sad all the time.




do you want to move schools?
i nodded.
she is going to get the forms,
but then i realised.
moving schools wont help me 
be happy.

Hmm

Everything Changes. 

and now i want to ask

Why?

I'm Listening to our song.

Things Dont Just Get Handed Out To you,
You have to find them.

how come?

NOTHING ever goes right?

some people..

Annoy the *BEEP* outaa me.

i dont say hate anymore?

i dislike it when my internet fucks up, and i cant talk to you

its not like.

i dont want to wear a dress, its the fact that when people say, 
you? in a dress? 
'thats not you, you dont wear dresses and skirts'
truth is id love to wear one.
i just dislike myself thats all.

Umm sorry i cant.

im not going. cause i dont look good in a dress, no thanks x

100th blogg,

sorry, i had to. :( 
i dont want to keep hurting you

Matt?

What did i do??

Thanks.

i wouldn't mind. 

if it was to my face.

but it was behind my back,

im sick of crying.

i hate crying.

no more crying..

I never used to be.

the girl who cried at the drop of a hat.
i was stong,
now im weak -.-
i hate this.

Do Better,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHKZK6tZiEU

Im Not, Ever.

Its not that i don't want to be happy,
its when i try. i realize its not going to change anything//

death.

Im afraid of dying. but some times,
it seems like the easiest thing.

Please?

to charlotte 
 

i know leaving you.

didnt affect you, it affected me. Alot.

and now.

that you have no me,

you are happier than ever.

and that kills me inside.


i have to admit, you were the bestest friend i ever had.
and now, im alone. 
because You Dont Care, And Im Not Stupid.




all the times i cried. they were the times, you hurt me  without knowing.

When i'm with you,

I'll make every second count.

Sorry,

For crying.

Care?

Please?

You Cant,

Be Me,
Take My Friends.
annoy Me






Any More!

You.

You Annoy Me.

MORNINNN''

''D
Smilee

Whats The Point.

You Dont Care.

Im alone.

No One to talk to.

i hate what you have become.

You are. Everything i hate now.

CONFUCKINGFUSED

:[

again.

Over.
Over.
And Over
again.

Trust me.

Trust Me,


Im Trying Not To Ruin your Life.






Sorry If I Already Have.




its just when i talk to you.
i'd rather have your full attention.

Hmm.

And i know your ignoring me, but not meaning to.




Tayler don't do this again.

Do You Want The Truth.


Or My Fake Smile?

You get Your Life Handed To You, In A Nice Package.

And You Rip It Open.

And Then Moan About Whats Inside.

Your Life.

Is Perfect.

SO WHY ARE YOU STILL MOANING ABOUT IT

Theres Always a Sick Feeling.
Like Something is Going To Go Wrong.

No title .. doesn't Deserver One.

And I'm Just thinking I Might As well Go...?


You Wouldn't Have even Noticed If I Left Forever, would You.?

:l Read Between The Lines.

i say it doesnt matter.


But it really does.

Fuck off haters and two faced people.

some people just dont know how lucky they are and theres people out there who'd die that for that.

Best friends,

'you sket get a proper boyfriend you slag'






Thanks for sticking up for me,

this is my 70th post

and yet, not one single person cares what i wrote.

i moan. alot.

i moan on this. so the others dont have to take my moaning.

i care to much about other people and never myself.

I Just Feel. That You Don't Love Me Any more.

Sorry.

STOP.

STOP TRYING TO BE ME!!!

You.

Keep Asking If Im Ok. Please

My Heart Broke.

if u say so

Random Things. Off My Mind.

' i don't want this to sound mean but i hope it will end like the others did'

one day your gonna stop thinkings its all about YOU
and for once in your perfect life. Think About me.

You Are Perfect, So Perfect.


its hard to be me, when me comes so easy to you.

I Guess What im trying to say is.

im jealous that you can be anything you want.

And i cant.

'its not fair' Quote RE Teacher.

Moving Onto A New Subject.

I Take Things You say To Seriously Even If You Dont Mean it in a mean way,

i make it seem mean :l

i just do.

Danger follows My Foot Steps.

AhaaMushroomKidd.

GetALife.com

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.// I NEVER HAVE

Im Writing this.

To Keep Me Saine.
To Keep Me Remembering That You Are All i Have.
To Keep Me From Belive What People Say.

Im glad I Have Someone In My Life To Talk To About Everything.

Haters.
whats the point.
Honestly.
i know people say its jealousy but seriously.
what is there to be jealous about.

i wish my mum would realize.

Sometimes i feel like no one understands. :l

You,
Your Like My Best Friend. But Your Not If You get Me?

you probably dont. but i love you so much.
we will make this last forever.

me,

i am a horrible twat.